Get up off da ground, boy
You new to dis, ain’t ya?
Lemme help you stand to yo feet
C’mon now. Get up
I got ya, easy now
You ain’t goin’ nowhere
Damn, boy, you tremblin’
Listen to me, hear?
Dem walls dey ain’t really melt’n
Doze hateful voices compete’n fo yo sanity
Yo mind a nest of hiss’n snakes
Dat woman who just peeled off her skin
A baby girl cry’n somewhere far, far away
Dey all just glass pipe illusions
Shit ain’t real
Ima tell you what’s real, hear?
Duh loss of yo fuck’n faith
Faces widout eyes
Hollow men
Dicked by dirty dope
Miss’n on someone who ain’t never gonna miss ya back
Ima talk’n to you, hear?
Anudder dark night
Anudder fight
You took da biggest man in da room
You still wid me?
You think’n straight?
Dat big Texan over dare with da big knuckles
He be line dance’n
Powder’n his nose
One nostril bleed’n from cocaine
Da udder from yo fist
You be laugh’n an cry’n at da same time
Dat’s when I knew
Dat look in yo eyes
I been down dat road a long time ago, boy
Still seems like yesterday dough
Insane with pain of anudder kind
A death wish just like yo’s
Track’n my ass
Always beckon’n with a hellish grin
Dare’n me to jump in front uh dat oncome’n train
Tempt’n me wid final things
You gotta be more careful, man
Dat dark wish of yo’s may come true
Smelly gorilla beat da shit out of you
Exactly what you wuz want’n
Am I right? Correct me if I ain’t
No shame in admitt’n it, ya hear?
You just goin’ through sumpin real bad is all
Ride’n on da pain train
Yo eye is some kinda fucked up
It’ll be alright
Already be heal’n faster den dat broken heart of yo’s, dat’s fo damn fuck’n sho
Big Man called you a faggot
Bald fuck just be jealous of yo pretty hair, boy
He calls me his nigga
I ain’t his bitch. I ain’t his noth’n
I hate dat shit but I always just lets it go
Lets it slide right on by
Like a big ole smelly turd ker-plunk’n outta my ass and into da toilet
Wanna know why?
Cuz he be scary big. But he be even bigger wid his stuff
Self-centeredness hide’n behind a mask of generosity
See?  I got big words like you, fancy fists, and maybe some kinda wisdom, too
I got eyes dat see, ya know? I ain’t bragg’n or nutt’n like dat
Nah, listen man, here’s da thing I’m try’n ta tell ya
He don’t charge
Shit’s fo free
To all doze who’s close to him
Which ain’t very many and ain’t none uh us rillly friends
He just be hand’n it out like canny
Not da kind of canny dat rots yo teefs but da kind dat rots yo mind
Makes you forget all about yo troubles. Troubles still be dare when you get back from yo trip, bro
Dey ain’t goin’ nowhere. They always be stay’n right where you left em
Dat’s alright by me
It be gett’n too expensive for good blow dese days wid gasoline an inflation jump’n way the fuck up
Folks barely surviv’n anymo
So dat nasty ass wipe can call me whatever da hell he wants
Asshole gives and I takes away. Den I be fly’n away
Dat’s how I be figur’n it for now
But I done seen everything dat happened
He broke a table with yo body but he couldn’t break yo strong spirit
Not tonight, dammit
You be mad as hell
Fuck’n pissed off, man
Do you remember any of dis?
Like you wuz beat’n on yo old lady’s new boy toy or sumpin
Gett’n vindication or sumshit
Damn boy
You got issues
I loot at you and I just know
Maybe you need some of dat professional counsel’n or sumpin
You get free snacks, soda pops, fuck’n adult color’n books with all kinds uh smiley faces
Fairytale shit. Religion. See? Everybody be rely’n on dare own form of illusions
I ain’t got no room for any judgement
If it works, right? Trick’n yo mine into feel’n good about yoself and better about life again
Hell, you might even get laid by yo high heeled counselor, Hollywood
Den you be help’n her, too! Deep plunge’n her problems away
She be try’n not to scream so no dat one hears you through da do
You a crazy motherfucker, dat’s all I know
You be los’n your mind an shit. I can see it in yo eyes. You haunted as hell
A tick’n time bomb
Far from da path of righteousness. Another lost sheep
Boy, don’t you know you be surrounded by wolves, right now? Dey gonna eat you alive
Yet here you are. Where it’s not safe. Where you don’t belong
Da hell is yo problem anyway?
Let me tell you how it works round here, okay?
Dis is his house, his dope, his booze
When you play chess wid him you s’posed to lose
I’m giv’n you some school’n right now, ya hear?
Listen boy, he learned how to play dis game in prison, right?
He loves it but don’t never play it well
Cuz he ain’t got no moves. Cuz he ain’t got no smarts
Dat brain uh his be heavy and cold as a stone
His head a big ole fuck’n bowl’n ball wid holes in it
Reason he don’t plan ahead is because he can’t
Dumb as an ox. I’m tell’n ya. And just as dangerous as he is dumb. Be very careful
He will always be who he is
We will always be who we are
You da only one here who ain’t being true yoself tonight
Dat man you just bitch slapped happens to be a dump truck driver who can’t spell his own name
But you gotta play by his rules if ya wanna fly away from all yo troubles
Remember, he da king of sugar mountain
Hey! Snap out of it. You still wid me, bro? Are ya hear’n me?
You all glassy-eyed, wobbly, and shit. You look’n right through me
Anyway, my advice: always go outta yo way to make him feel good about hisself
Ain’t noth’n really free round here. Troof be known
Because you always know in da back of yo mind you be fuck’n wid da Devil
He always be sitt’n in dat busted orange recliner way over dare
Wid a sticky back scratcher an always pick’n his nasty nose wid his smegma fingers
Ask yoself
Is gett’n too close to this jizm-crusted troll worth a free bowl?
Hell, I don’t know. Fo me it is. But maybe not so much fo you
Listen to me
You already off to a bad start. Not yo fault. He already be tripp’n. You handled it well, hear?
Yo dog ate a Rook
Dat’s all it took
Fo dat volatile man, dat psychopaff, to put his club foot into yo puppy’s rib cage
What’s hiz name?  Jack?
Dat’s what I’m tell’n ya. Dat’s just da way he be. So let him be
He barely in control of his fat sweaty ass. He unpredictable. Malevolent. Sadistic
I could go on and on
You were light’n fast today, bro. Shocked da hell outta me
Like you wuz just wait’n for any excuse to shake his chubby cheeks like yellow jello
You had perfect time’n too
Once upon a time, I was a boxer, hear?
You hit him good and solid white boy
Best you could do
Called him an ass fucker, too
Dis all happened today
Bat shit crazy and high as hell
Taller den him but thin as a rail
You punched dat buffalo
Wise or unwise I don’t know
Damn down you go
I knew it
Boy, it didn’t take long
Two sledgehammers break’n yo skinny ass ribs
Air and life go’n outta ya
Didn’t call for yo mama
Didn’t tap out
You stood once mo to yo feet
Grabbed da Grey Goose
I thought you waz gonna cut his meat
You woulda lost all dat respect you just earned, ya know?
You unscrewed da cap and took a swig
Felt yo swollen eye wid yo fingertips
Den with a “fuck you” smile dat stirred sumpin in my loins
Don’t take me wrong
I’m talk’n testosterone surg’n and heart pump’n. All dat fight or flight shit
I ain’t talk’n bout no damn boner, ya hear? I ain’t got no sugar
Anyway, I be replay’n it over again in my mind
How you wipe yo mouth
All Cowboy an shit
Told him you’d return his fuck’n Rook when yo dog shit it out his ass
How you’d take his king with dat very piece and rape his queen
Don’t ever kick my dog again, you said
Followed by a moment of silence
Da silent compare’n of cock sizes
A mutual understanding
Prison boy
Big as a hoss and lonely as hell
Didn’t want you to leave
I’m not your boyfriend, you said
Disrepect’n him. Test’n him
Sarcastic as hell
He da Alpha male. A brute beast
You da Sigma male. A lone wolf
Just stand’n dare. Eye fuck’n each other
I be try’n not to laugh. Not want’n to stir things up again
Whatever, he said, his bulbous nose just a steady dripp’n and bleed’n
Like da hemorrhoids in his supersized ass, da size of grapes
From all dat prison fuck’n
All dat fiddl’n, fiddl’n, fidd’n with a Kleenex. His hands shak’n bad
He puts sumpin special in da pipe, right?
I says to myself, oh shit, here we go
He torched his special blend and handed it to you with a nod
Go ahead, he said wid his unhealthy eyes
A peace pipe laced with a little extra sumpin sumpin I calls “looney tune”
Dat Porky Pig stutter’n shit
Ba da ba da ba da Dat’s all folks!
I gots a speech impeditment, too
But I never liked that damn pig
And I ain’t just talk’n bout Porky
I wuz worried for you at first
Yo eyes. Dey fuck’n changed, ya know? Wid one or two good hits alone
You inhaled deeply and defiantly
Got dem juju eyes
Nolonger ack’n like a rabid animal
I saw another you coming out from behind the fucked up you (no offense)
Calm as a glassy sea
Quot’n poems and shit
Maybe you really are a faggot
Just kidd’n! I’m throw’n my hands up
Don’t go bust’n me in my damn nose, boy
Where you be learn’n all uh dat book shit anyway?
You be mak’n up all dem big words and we don’t even know it?
Tell the troof
You be fool’n wid us the whole time and shit?
Mak’n a fuck’n mockery uh all us mushroom morons
I don’t know. To fuck with it all
(Here you go, fists of fury, hit dat pipe again and talk to me)
All I know, all I really know
Is dat somehow you was mak’n em sing
Doze beautiful lines, every word, every thought
How the hell do you do it?
You gotta feel it, right?
Which means dat yo broken heart not as dead as you think, Shakespeare
Still pick’n up signals and vibes. You very much alive on the inside
Speak’n da way you do, smooth as jazz
Blow’n smoke
Make’n us nod our heads
Cause’n us to say hmm, and yes, and shit
We don’t even know what da hell you be talk’n bout
But we pretended ta know
Cuz it sounded pretty damn good
So pleas’n to da ear
What you had to say and how you said it
I’m watch’n and listn’n, ya know? when suddenly it occurs to me
This glorious fuck’n epiphany
You be talk’n to dat man like he somebody
As his mamma lay dy’n
He been doin’ his share of cry’n but no one don’t ever see it
He too private. He don’t let no one behind dat thick curtain uh his
Block’n out da rays of da sun and everyone
None uh us ain’t no different
Try’n ta handle all da heavy shit all on our own. Completely alone
Understand what I’m tell’n you boy?
We all be cry’n in our own special ways
An once he finally loses hs mama, ya know
Dare won’t be anyone left of his entire family anywhere on dis goddamn planet
He’ll be all alone in dis sad world
You hear’n me?
Mama loves her fat felon boy
An he fuck’n loves her, too
Dat why he be drugg’n us all up fo free
Money means noth’n to him
He just don’t wanna be alone
You bleed’n, too, boy. I can see it
Fresh wounds
I ain’t no prophet or noth’n like dat. Only when I hit da shrooms.
I ain’t no soothsayer eeder. Never been one to pedal da bullshit. Lies are lies
I don’t know noth’n bout anyth’n. I be content wid my ignorance
Fogg’n away my fears wid junk cause I don’t wanna hear da troof
Sometimes I be worry’n dey ain’t no mo answers left for me out dare
Meaninglessness scares da fuck’n shit outta me
So I choose nothingness
Call me a fool
Listen boy, I ain’t try’n to put my greasy nigga nose into yo business, hear?
I ain’t gonna ask her name or anything else about it
You gonna explode if you don’t grab yo big old snake of a cock and regain some control
Don’t be dissolv’n and disappear’n into a shell of a man like me
Maybe just tonight you might should smoke yo brains out
Bumpy Brandi she will take yo mind off of every fuck’n thing, man. I mean it
Don’t mind her skin and try not to stare, okay, promise me?
It ain’t contagious
My advice: get inside uh her real quick. It real nice in dare
You be say’n aaaaahhhhhh in no time. Cross-eyed when she finally rolls heavy upon ya
Com’n in strong. A powerful wave of womanly warmth. Silky. Gush’n. Flush’n. Powerful
Contract’n. Earth-shatter’n. God-worship’n Throughogo’n. Unforgettable. Fuck’n orgasm!
Dat’s our Bumpy Brandi, ya know? But we don’t call her dat to her face
Her lips dey ain’t got no bumps, see? Dey be real smooth like honey. She a real good kisser
Talented, ya know? Like she be practic’n wid herself in da mirror or sumpin
She been close like dat wid all uh us for some time. We good wid it now, all drink’n from the same cup
She remind you of one of dem saloon whores. Not quite pretty. Not necessarily ugly
Earthy. A prairie woman. Yeah, dat’s da word, boy. A good solid fucker
Cock-rock’n doze bed springs to da limit
She be wear’n out yo coil,too, bro. Bend’n it dis way and dat
Moan’n and sigh’n like da southern wind. Suck’n you off like she a hungry baby
You be cumm’n in yo drawls just by listen’n through da walls when she wid somone else. I’m tell’n ya
She alright. She gonna like you, boy. You fresh meat. She be tak’n you agin and agin
She gonna be hungry for ya. Rest of us might be jealous and lonely for awhile
Dat’s okay. You one uh us now
I promise you be waving dat white flag uh surrender, outta breffs, spent
You be finish fo she finish. Den she drain anudder one outta ya boy and it’ll hurt real good
Satisfaction guaranteed. A wild mare of a girl. She be wear’n out yo wiener. Leave you smilin’
Say’n words like hot damn and oh shit and holy fuck in da afterglow
While you watch your satisfied penis, once so stiff and strong, soften and shrivel down to noth’n
Donkey Kong, not to be confused wid Donkey Dong, always fizzes her up on sumpin
Most uh da time, she be like a wild cat let loose fo da first time. Doped up on sumshit
Sometime she quite da opposite. Green eyes dat don’t quite connect. Roofied
Or maybe she wuz giv’n a kitty cocktail. Slow dat wild pussy down. Red head flopp’n lazily from side to side
She be goin down on him, humming a happy song, off key, purring gently from happy man ta happy man
It’s not real, ya know? Her happy song. She’s high, dats’s all. She don’t really know or cares anymore
Dat’s how it works round here in dis fuck’n dump heap uh bugs and drugs
We be fade’n people. Just a fade’n away. Duck’n outta life but on our own fuck’n terms
Our secret hideaway be da opposite of romantic. Dis ain’t Paris, Hemmingway, it’s Purgatory. A halfway house hell. One step closer to da Lake uh Fire. Yeah
Dat sweet girl she still ain’t happy. Dat’s why we be specializ’n round here in euphoria and amnesia
Not necessarily da Lord’s work. But we be wizards of wonder, help’n each udder make it
Brandi knows how much she be loved and needed and adored by everyone here
So she keeps goin’
Dem heavy worn out tits have provided so much lov’n comfort fo all uh us
Believe me, boy, dat shit is real
Drops her silk panties right on da flo in front uh everyone. I shit you not
Looks you straight in da eye. Makes you believe dat you da only man alive
Dat yo cock is majestic and beautiful. Da only stick she ever be pound’n down to noth’n
Completely devoted. Utterly faithful in da moment
Girl gets right to it
You been warned, okay?
So be prepared, hear?
She might heal you but you’ll never heal her
Faithfulness is a fable wid no fuck’n moral. Just anudder empty promise
Dat’s all I’m say’n bout it
I hear she be bring’n her friend girl wid da cherry Kool Aid hair. Hot damn!
She don’t wear no underwear
Gonna be a night to remember but also one to forget
Know what I’m say’n?
Do you even give a fuck, right now?
Yo, man, get dat head of yo’s screwed back on straight, boy
Pull back dat hair. Comb it or sumpin
You look scary. All twitchy an shit
Take a few deep breffs widdout da pipe
Quit mumbl’n bout da darkness on da walls
You be scar’n me wid all dat shadow shit
You need Jeezus
It be in da Bible
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all da days of my fucked up life
Do you believe it? You fuck’n better. Amen? Gimme an amen. Shit
I been a deacon at da Apostolic church for a few weeks now
Listen, I be know’n what I be talk’n bout, yo
You long haired John Lennon motherfucker
Hand me dat Budwieser ass juice over dare
I can’t reach it from here, dammit
My big black ass be so cumbersome and heavy, ya know?
I ain’t ashamed to talk about my weight. You know why? I’ll fuck’n tell ya why
Dis laced up weed be relax’n me enough to speak da troof
Look at me. Watch dis. I’m sinking deep into dis cum stained couch
Right now I be think’n and feel’n dat I’m happy
Test question: is what I just said true or false? Am I happy or sad?
Fuck’n False?
Listen boy
I be try’n ta give you da answer
We gonna fix you up, hear?
Stop yo whin’n and cry’n
Yeah, you been hurt by da love of yo life
Dat’s real life shit, yo
Fuck’n hurts
But you ain’t no sissy, dat’s fo sho
Swing’n at dat ugly moose head like you did
I still be tripp’n on dat acid for awhile
Couldn’t believe my dilated eyes
Dat wuz really sumpin
Here I go. Gett’n all excited again
Made me remember my long lost yoof
I been in a few scuffles myself
God’s honest troof
Now take annuder swig of Goose an fresh’n up
You my new friend, hear? What do young people be say’n? We exclusive. Ha!
God is good even when we be do’n questionable things like suck’n pipe and fuck’n pussy
Soon we be bong’n and bang’n
An los’n our religion
Fo just a moment, you be forgett’n everything
You be lose’n yo fuck’n shit
Then you be pray’n
Sometimes yo teeth be chatter’n in fear
Whenever yo eyes be opened to all da wicked forces in da heavenly places
It’s in da Bible. Look it up. Scary shit goin’ on all around us right now
You be forgett’n yo big ass words
You be go’n blank as Sleepy Joe not know’n what you waz say’n in mid-fuck’n sentence
No more belly ach’n
Dats what I’m say’n
Moan’n over yo lost bitch
It’s not a good look
Time to move da hell on, hear?
I’m tell’n ya gently as I can
We gonna pop yo virgin cherry tonight
You ready to bust a load?
Let me be da first to shake yo swollen hand, Mr. Man
Clomp’n round in yo boots. Next time wear some spurs
You got spurs? I wanna hear you com’n. You be need’n em anyway
When Missy starts rare’n and buck’n you off da bed
Better hold on tight
You alright, my boy
Allow me to formally introduce myself:
I’m not Frank, sometimes I’m Sincere, but I’m always Earnest
Get it?  HA!  Made dat fuck’n ditty up myself
Or maybe I didn’t
Mr. Sad Poet
You look’n pale
You outta place here, yo. I’m just say’n you lost as all fuck
But I be watch’n over you, Rocky Balboa, okay? No worries
Anyway, call me Earnest
DON”T calls me Ernie cuz I ain’t go’n wid dat yellow homo Burt
He’ gotta real bad hairdo from Great Clips and a stick up his woke puppet ass
Don’t like him. Hate his fuck’n shirt, too. Hasn’t changed it in years
He got dat Muppet B.O. Dat why his face so sour all da time
Am I right? What da hell?
As fo the gigantic dumb fuck wid da micro penis
Our loaded and benevolent supplier. Our not so gracious but bountiful host
Dat big fuck’n Shrek with a regular pattern for violence when he be crack’n on da pipe
Dat dog abus’n asshole who bruised yo lanky Gary Cooper body
Well, guess what?
I be tell’n you a funny secret. I’m happy to share it wid da whole damn world, okay?
Right now, dis very minute, he be wiggl’n and jigg’n on da bathroom shitter, star’n at porn
Try’n to get his wee willy wonka to stand up straight like a good little soldier before da ladies arrive
Accidentally walked in on him one day. Never forget it, yo. I was like, oh hell no
Da only time in my life dat I be wish’n I been born blind
You just don’t get over sumpin like dat
Big body, little dick, dat must be why he always be so mean. Dat’s my theory, yo
Same as da Po Po. An army of dinky dongs. Rude and miserable as hell
Dey be putt’n they knees on yo neck til you can’t breeve
But you damn took him, didn’t you?
You sho did
Whoooo-wheee! Dat wuz really sumpin
You said, POW!  Meet my fuck’n fist
An you said it widout say’n a word
Made my day
Anyway, Mr. Softy’s name is Brett
Call him whatever you want, hear?
For example:
Damn Brett
Dick Breath
Douche Bag
He gets whatever you need. Whenever he mixes sumpin special. Watch out. Say your fuck’n prayers
Looks like you already know. You a zombie, bro. Where’d ya go? Damn boy
At least you won’t be sad
Hey, man, where da hell you come from anyway?
You brokenhearted brass balls motherfucker
She really musta been sumpin
You already be stoned as fuck
I feel sorry for yo griev’n ass
You suicidal? I fuck’n hope not. Don’t be doin’ dis shit alone
Every demon. You believe in demons? If you don’t, you will. Every fuck’n demon comes out to play
Dey don’t be play’n nice, nieder. Whisper’n in yo ears. Tell’n ya things you don’t wanna hear. Shit
Don’t go solo, okay? Yo soul be turned inside out. Tortured by every evil thing and every fuck’n regret
Until you pull da trigger or hang yoself wid a rope
I’m bein’ fo real
You won’t be lik’n what you see if you in a bad place already
But whatever Ass Breath put in dat magic ball, you be loop’n on it, bro
My man!
Welcome to da house of pain!
We all screwed up in heeuh. Dis dark house we like to call da Valley of da Great Fuckening
When you be broken beyond all repair, you come heeuh and break yoself some mo
Whenever you can’t take da pain? Dis your home. Brett’s house. Door’s always open
It be better than a gun, ya know? Have some fun
‘Scuse me while I be brush’n my teefs in da kitchen sink. I gotta gold one, too
I be mak’n it shine, bruh, so it go like DING! whenever I smile
I’m be’n fer rill. I ain’t ly’n
Ladies can’t get eenuff of my golden grill
Sumpin to be ponder’n fo yoself
One day if asshole knocks out one of yo front teef (Wait, hold up, what’s yo name again? Dis shit is really start’n to fog my fuck’n melon, yo. Seriously! I can’t remember shit). Anyway, what wuz I say’n?
Andrew Dabar